A so called "frameless" life

How can anyone live a “frameless” life? It may be true that some people live a more structured life than others but even those without a strong frame of reference still have some sort of frame. It is hard to understand where Elizabeth (a character created by Bessie Head, who is much like herself, in her novel A Question of Power), is coming from in that most of us were raised by blood relatives and were not faced with a mental illness. However, where Elizabeth comes from (though it may not have a perfect childhood) there were experiences that framed her life, whether she realizes it or not.

People always tell me I have the exact same manerisms as my mother. Therefore, my mother is part of the framework in my life that makes me who I am. I feel blessed to have been raised by my mother and my father and to have had their presence and support my entire life. For Elizabeth, this was not the case.  Elizabeth has had the unfortunate circumstance of never knowing her real parents. She was raised in a foster home where her dark skin was not well accepted. In learning about her mother and how she was put away for getting pregnant with a native man, Elizabeth feels upset yet still feels that she has a “frameless” life.  Instead of taking the information about her biological mother and using the information as a frame to her existence she chooses to let the information play no important role in her mind. “The information was almost meaningless to her.” (A Question of Power p. 16) “...she could not relate it to herself in any way." Then Bessie goes on to say, “she really belonged emotionally to her foster-mother, and the story was an imposition on her life.” To me it seems that she chooses not to have the story of her mother or the significance of her foster-mother stand as frames of her life.

Maybe it is something that I cannot understand being that I was raised by both of my parents in a loving home. Maybe she puts all of hurt feelings of being neglected or abandoned into a place so far in the back of her mind that it causes her to feel that she has a “frameless” life and possibly is the cause of her mental illness and hallucinations. Though I was raised with both of my parents for most of my life I by no means had the perfect childhood. My parents divorced when I was a junior in Highschool. I could have chosen to not accept my parents divorce and to put it in the back my mind, but it played a major role in my life and it was a part of my framework that makes me who I am today.   If we choose not to look at the reality of a situation for what it is and choose to not share our experiences and express our emotions (which is maybe what Elizabeth did), in turn, we keep it all bottled inside and that can lead to an unhealthy mental state.

I see it to be very important that we all accept our past for what it was (good and bad) and share our experiences openly and honestly in order to avoid such feelings of being lost or “frameless.” Though we may not always feel a perfect sense of who we are, as our identities are always changing as our lives change, I feel like we have some control over creating an identity for ourselves. Maybe it easier for some then it is for others, therefore I feel blessed to have a hometown and a family who reminds me constantly of where I come from.

I do believe that our experiences (no matter how bad they may have been) and our attitudes about ourselves makes us who we are. Though we may not have control over our past or how we are brought up, we do have control over our attitudes and acceptance of our past.  We can believe we belong here for a reason -- and embrace where we came from.  It seems as though Bessie will always feel as though she has no identity when she says “I have always been just me, with no frames of reference to anything beyond myself.” (Artists of the Floating World, p. 64) It is her attitude and her genuine belief that she is alone in the world which consumes her and that will always have her leading a “frameless” life.